Contagious Perversion

Two hours 'til I leave... and my tummy's doing jumping jacks! There is nothing to be afraid of, and I hate irrational fear. Hate! I wish to ban it from my life! I'll kick it's ass, I will! Grrrr....

*struggle*
*punch*
*ow!*

...or maybe I'll just have a cocktail...

It's my birthday today. YAY! I do, in fact, get excited over my birthday. I have no issue with getting older, I will probably be just as happy when I'm 60... and I'm even looking forward to it. :-) So, yeah, it's a happy birthday today, until...

Driving down to meet Mr. dragonballzzz  for a birthday brunch, my transmission decided to explode. 1100 bucks and no car 'til Tuesday. Happy birthday to me. hmph.  :-/

At least I had already arranged rides for the weekends shenanigans, and DAMNIT! I'm gonna have a good time. Hopefully, I'll get laid too.  >;-)

Thanks for the birthday wishes thusfar! I even got a lovely poem that "tickles the evil spot"! ;-) *heehee*

I also promise, that I've been very, very bad. So, I deserve extra birthday spankin's. >;-)

Tonight, Nation! Tomorrow, birthday-karaoke party! Life is good. (or at least I'll pretend it is until the weekend is over). *grin*

I am a very, very bad girl.

( Edited so you can stop asking )

Thursday.
Family, food, fun, and (of course) bridge. :-)
A few ( BRUISES ), lots of ( DANCING ), and a little bit of ( DRAMA );-)
All around, a good time.


Friday.
I can't seem to remember... something about people chasing me and then getting shot 6 times in the back... oh wait! that was the dream I had when I slept all day. right. My back still hurts.


Saturday.
Confusion, I don't know why I bother making plans, don't count on me to ever get my shit together, karaoke goodness.


Sunday.
Some more bridge, good conversation, a little weirdness, a lot of fun, ( band practice )

I took off work today after my disaster... & yes, to you sceptics out there, I really was stuck in the elevator for two whole hours, all by myself... not like in the movies where you have company and porno music. ;-P

I also have to find some way to clean the rest of the bird parts out of my car's crevices without becoming ill... hmm, maybe I'll find a beak or something to keep for memory's sake... that would be *awesome*. >;-)

Also, this is really fucked up. lol.

& ( this questionnaire that I almost forgot to post )

& ( the ABC meme )

okay... so now that's all done... house-keeping, you know how it is... now all I have to worry about is that little bitch that keeps popping up and taunting me. >;-)

No, they don't usually go together, but I was covered in both today... and, believe it or not, it was a good day.

Today's project with the kids was "Bubble Tubes"...colored tubes with glitter, confetti, and water in them in which an air bubble glubs to the top stirring everything up... I'm sure you've seen them in stores at times... they serve no purpose but to aid in daydreaming and possibly to fascinate a doser for a few hours. So, for sure, it was everything a kid could want.

To make these, we bought clear tubing from the hardware store, food coloring, glitter, confetti, and "Gorilla Glue." I'm sure your imagination is already two steps ahead of me at this point... and probably two steps ahead of what I envisioned this project to be like when I invented it... but let me go on.

So I've got 30 out of the 75 kids crowding me to do this project, and we get started. Well, it would've been nice if I had planned this out more... but I still had to cut the long coil of tube down to smaller pieces and glue on one end... but no time for preparation, gotta do it as the children approach to avoid the annoying noises children make when they have to be patient. So I'm frantically cutting tubes, gluing on one end and passing it off child by child. They go down the line filling their tubes with water, food coloring, and glittery goodness; around the table and back to me, where I cap it off and put it in the bucket to dry. This goes well for a while.. and I am laughing my ass off as each child, clean and perfect at the front of the line, shows up at the other end disheveled, sparkling head to toe, and grinning wildly at their masterpiece.

I'm wearing gloves, so I don't get the glue on my hands... but plastic gloves and glue don't play well together... so halfway through the project I have my own masterpiece going in the middle of the table, consisting of discarded latex, glue, ever-spreading glitter, pieces of plastic tubing, paintbrush bristles, and some of my hair. I was quite impressed with it actually, and was thinking about some way to take it home, when the next child approached and decided to give me a big messy hug....

When you're holing an exacto knife and a child comes rushing towards you, your first impulse is to move the knife as far away from them as possible... when there are children on all sides of you, apparently the first impulse is to point the knife towards yourself. & he gave me the most loving, heartfelt hug while simultaneously pushing into my arm... that was incidentally holding the blade... that slipped ever so sleekly into my side.

Not wanting to cause a ruckus, and trying to disguise my pain... I smile at him and grab the first thing I can find to hold over my wound... my pile-o-gluey latex. I clutch myself like I have to pee, and tell the children to wait til I get back to continue. I run off to the bathroom. And let me just say that it's impossible enough to clean glitter off of anything... no less a seeping wound. & I have glitter all over myself. & I don't want to lift my shirt and explore the damage until I get the glitter off of my hands. So, I'm standing over the sink, frantically scrubbing my hands, and laughing hysterically as I feel the blood running down my side. (for those of you who don't know me very well, this is not strange. I laugh when I'm in pain, always have, don't ask me why.)

So, I finally get most of the glitter off and I lift my shirt... looks bad, but it always does when you've been bleeding unattended for 10 minutes (or so it seemed). So now I have to clean up the blood to really assess the damage. This is harder than is seems when all you have available is the school-issue piece-of-shit brown paper towels with the absorbancy of cardboard and texture of sandpaper. But I manage anyway... and really it wasn't so bad... so I first-aid it. I'm doing okay... a little light-headed and throbby... but okay. However, I had been standing there long enough for the blood to have soaked my shirt on one side... and that was nothing compared to the sink and the floor. So I go to work cleaning the blood-glitter and by the time I'm done, I'm covered in it.

My co-worker walks in at this point. Handles it surprisingly well, considering that I must've looked like I just came from a fairy's slaughterhouse. & we devise a plan for me to sneak by the children undetected and get out to my car to go home. She got my stuff, drove my car around to the front of the building and I managed to leave without anyone seeing me. Now getting through my apartment building undetected was a completely different story... but I guess I looked like I wasn't in the mood for conversation, so people just kinda did a double-take and allowed me on my way. & thus a long shower and some relaxation followed... and ultimately passing on my story to you fine folks.

& as Halloween is approaching, I encourage you to pass it on to your children... and your children's children... and so on and so forth. So that years from now, your ancestors children can look in the mirror, say my name 3 times, scare the begeezus out of each other, and hope the bloody-maia won't come for her revenge.

.....okay, now I know I've lost too many capillaries.. nevermind... carry on...

Have some catching up...

un-fucking-believable!!!! I got stung by a bee again!!! I am highly allergic and it really suxx ass... and it wasn't but a week ago that I got stung for the first time since i was 9!!! and now that's twice. in one week. urg! But it's amazing how fast and easily you can jam a needle into your foot when you have to.

okay... mythbuster's rocks! even if it's just another excuse to skip studying. :-P

i'm also loving my new squishy-stress-relief-brain thingy... it's got all the veins and blood and stuff in it too... excellent.

Okay, back to what I was talking about... so this weekend I went to yet another wedding. Seriously people, I don't get it. But anyway, you know how *something* always goes wrong at these things. Well, it was in Southern MD... and they got tornados and wind and other sucky stuff... and the power decided to go out at the place. So, the wedding was without power... except for a generator for the music. & then they brought out the beer before the ceremony got started... so I was like "hey... music, beer... what else do you need?" So anyway, yeah... people were drinking as the bride and groom walked down the eisle... so yeah, it was a fun wedding. Also, I should mention, that cousin-of-the-groom, well known stoner, and online-certified minister, conducted the wedding. hahahahaha... people who didn't know were like "cool the minister cusses and drinks" LOL good times.

Whoo Hoo! As of October 16th, I will have fully paid off my debt that i have incurred from my FUCKING STUPID ASS BANK DICK HEAD MOTHER FUCKERS!

Anyway, um so life is busy... yeah that's what I was talking about... I had a test on monday... aced it... aww yeah. But I have another one on Thursday... did I mention I should be studying? Anyway, yeah... mythbusters rocks! & merlot... "Coppola" merlot. Damn, conscience! Fuck an Astronomy test... crap... need to study. Drunk studying... could be fun... nah, too much math... fuck. I'm screwed.

 

I went back home for the weekend, my brother was having his 21st birthday party. My parents were not going to be home, so they asked me to be there to keep an eye on things. Well, the first night was good... there was only about 15 people there, and it was fun... there was the usual party-type mess to clean up, but nothing bad. Just about everybody crashed that night and most of them left the next day. Everyone helped clean up most of the mess. So, I'm thinking everything's cool, everyone's just gonna hang out until they get a ride home, then we'll just do the rest of the cleaning and stuff when they leave...

Well, of course it wasn't that simple. I go upstairs to take a nap before I go help my friend move, cause I'm exhausted... a little while later Trevor comes upstairs and wakes me up because his friend is having an asthma attack and needs to get home to get more nebulizer medicine. So I let him borrow my truck to take her to get it... but I specified that only he is to drive the truck and that he is to come right back... an hour or two later I wake up and the truck is still gone... after all that has happened, of course I'm freaking out at this point. 6 hours later... Trevor returns with the truck. I'm, of course, fuming at this point... and his excuse is that they fell asleep. So, I tell him that there is no way in hell he's using the truck again, and that he needs to find a ride home for his friends. So, they call up their friend Ashlyn who is going to give a ride home to everybody there.

So, I'm thinking, problem solved right?... wrong again. Ashlyn shows up with her boyfriend and his friend... who are "gang members" from Calvert County... HAHAHAHAHA, yeah right... but still bad news... anyway... one of the people who was already there was Ashlyn's sister, Megan. Apparently Ashlyn and her sister don't get along very well... and Megan had already called the cops on her and her boyfriend previously that week because of some violence and drug trafficking (doesn't that just sound wonderful). So, as soon as they see each other they start fighting. & Megan's boyfriend and Ashlyn's boyfriend start to have words as well. So, now I'm outside breaking up fights... and while I'm doing that someone took the liberty to call "Boss" (the gang's leader)... and Megan decides to call her mom and get her involved... Toby gets on the phone with her and calms her down... and then agrees to take both the girls home.

While the girls are getting their shit together to leave... I'm in the front yard trying to keep the two guys from fighting... I wrestled on of the guys to the ground, because he was all worked up and wouldn't calm down... then, when he realized that he wasn't stronger then me, he decides to take a chunk out of my skin with his nails... and then "Boss" shows up. Well, "Boss" ends up being cooler than I expected. He punches the guy (who scratched me)... calms down his "boys" and makes them leave. He's extremely apologetic to me and sticks around for a while to make sure everything stays "cool". Toby takes the girls home... and by the time he gets back it's almost morning again. And now, because of everything, no one has a ride home... again. Toby goes to bed, 'cause he has to go to work in a few hours... and now everyone is stuck there for another day.... until Toby gets back from work. So, I'm stuck in the house with these stupid fucking people for another day... I'm bruised and have huge gashes in my shoulder... and just wanting everyone to disappear.

So, we all go to bed and get up the next afternoon. All we can do is wait for Toby to get back so everyone can go home... and because, at this point, nobody else is going to come over to pick anyone up after what happened. So, everyone's hanging out doing they're thing... and I'm doing my thing... and by nightfall, no one had done any cleaning or getting ready to leave. (& at this point, I'm not doing shit!) So, I pull Trevor off to the side to tell him that he needs to get everything cleaned up so that we can leave ASAP (at the very latest we need to leave by noon the next day for Toby and Trevor to get to work on time). & this is where Trevor's true colors just shine through ... all that night Trevor behaved like the most arrogant, no-conscience, non-caring, like the world owes him a favor, bastard. Not only did he not clean up any of the times I asked him to, but he also tried to get the people who started all the problems the other night to come back to the house!!! (plus a lot of other stupid little things).

When Toby got home, he was exhausted from getting no sleep and having to drive all the way to Baltimore and back... & I'm still exhausted from the night before, and from dealing with Trevor all night, and from trying to get things done. & I'm still so pissed off about all that Trevor did that I don't even want to talk about it right now. But, to make a long story short... Toby and I basically gave up... we were just exhausted in every way and we just layed down and passed out for a while. When we got up today, Trevor and his friends had cleaned up pretty well and Trevor was gone taking everyone home. He got back late and without everything done, so Toby was late for work. & now I'm home fuming about everything that happened and really, really disappointed and angry at Trevor. (and really I'd love to get it off my chest... but I'm tired of typing).

But, anyway... Trevor's got no car and no way to get back down there for a long, long time... so, I hope he had fun because he's stuck here with us until we decide to go back down to visit our folks or something... and there's no way in hell he's getting any more favors from me.

So that was my weekend... as ridiculous as it all sounds. I'm exhausted, and now that I've gotten this off my chest, I'm going to take a nap.